I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
