pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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