chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Success! We fucked roommates!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
