so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
