I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
