Please, let me fuck your mom
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
