He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
