Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
