And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
