masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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