I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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