My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
