We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
