Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
