Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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