I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So much rum. So many feels.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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