I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
