Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
