We're like a lot better than the average bears
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
