and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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