Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
