hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
