Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
