Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
