South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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