apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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