Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
