I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I need moral support for this bender
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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