and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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