i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
