Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
