She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
