i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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