Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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