ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this boner is exhausting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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