You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
