you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
