Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
