We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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