sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
