butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
