You really coming over, don't trick.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
