Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
