My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
