Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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