I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
