Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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