What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
