i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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