you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
