I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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