if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
