I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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